Its so hard to live and not feel guilty when im around you. And you know you are doing it to me. Its almost as if you are taking joy out of me. I feel guilty for being with someone i care about and who makes me happy when you dont have someone. I cant breath i cant get this weight off of me. Im only 18 I cant handle knowing about everything that goes on. I dont have the emotional capacity to take care of you emotionally and myself and to carry your worries along with my own. And i know that its selfish to say this but you are my mom im not your mom. I cant do this i cant be this and i dont want to. And its making me feel guilty about being with the person who makes me laugh and happy. Because when im with him im leaving you and in your own way you get back at me for it. And it hurts me that i cant talk to him about this and i cant lean on him because ive never been able to lean on anyone emotionally and im terrified of being dropped. I cant live like this. Its either going to make me drive him away or drive you away. And the thing is at this point i would rather step up and start my own life than be stuck here being suffocated by yours.

» acidbathx on 2010-02-23 01:43:44

that was supposed to be a heart!
» acidbathx on 2010-02-23 01:43:59

breathe*

don't burn any bridges with your family. that's never a good idea.
» thaitanic on 2010-02-23 03:42:54

you're leaving me this weekend. i love you mucho mucho mucho let's hang out and build each other up!
» acidbathx on 2010-02-25 06:43:38

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